Hi everyone! Well, it has been a little over a month since I started on my dog-biscuit baking as well as my own personal journey to attain total wellness. I thought I would provide an update on both! The dog-biscuit baking has been going GREAT - I could not have asked for more support - it has been so rewarding to hear personal stories about rescuing dogs. I truly believe having an animal, especially a dog, can be one of the most therapeutic options out there!! I know Roadie has gotten me through (and continues to) a number of tough times in my life. Please continue to spread the word as I am in a bit of a "lull" right now as far as sales go. We are close to the $400 mark - the $500 mark will be AWESOME!
On the "total wellness" side of things - that has been more of a struggle. When I first clicked the "Publish post" on my first blog entry, I felt amazing. Refreshed. Ready to DO something. But unfortunately, life happens and it is easy to fall back into normal routines and habits. I have not been doing a good job attending church or my small group regularly. My biggest downfall is that I have not been managing my diet well at all. This will be the majority of this blog post as I need YOUR help and support to do exactly as the title says - conquer my fears and commit to change.
I have always struggled with food. Never actually diagnosed, I would say I went through a period of anorexia when I was a pre-teen as I extremely limited my calorie intake, and felt very guilty every time I put something in my mouth. Luckily, something in my brain "clicked" and this phase really did not last long - I think as I grew older and started to understand nutrition more, I was able to identify what I was doing was not healthy. Throughout college and high school I ate like a normal teenager but my weight fluctuated a lot. I would gain the typical 15-20 lbs a semester, and then over summer or winter break I'd go on a diet, exercise like crazy and lose it all. Probably not the most healthy thing, either.
Then.... one of the best moments of my life happened. I met the love of my life......
Roadie. KIDDING. Well, not really. Let's just say I met the TWO loves of my life..... Roadie and my boyfriend, Jake. We were both finishing up school and as we went through the "puppy-dog" stage of our relationship, we realized we both loved to EAT! So, we went out to eat ALL the time. I laugh when I think back on it - it was pretty typical to go out to breakfast at Perkins to cure our wine hangover, maybe go back and take a nap, grab Quizno's or Panchero's for lunch, then go out for a nice dinner at Olive Garden and then top it all off with some Coldstone! (In fact, I started to LOVE Coldstone SO much, I came up with what was at that time, an ingenious idea - buy the personalized GALLON of ice cream and take it home!) So.... I would literally eat a gallon of Coldstone every couple of days. YUM. OK, OK, so I bet you know where this story is going. One day I decided to buy a scale and step on it. The number read 140. When Jake and I first met, I was at about 110. Needless to say, I was a bit shocked. I won't say Jake's weight gain on here in case he cares, but he had gained a similar % of weight. It also didn't help that by this time we were both working Corporate jobs and not exercising whatsoever.
So. I decided to diet and exercise. Nothing psycho. Just stopped going out to eat. Stopped getting gallons of Coldstone. Got my Grandma's old exercise stationary bike and did that for 30 minutes a day. Within 10-12 months, the weight was gone. About the time I started work at Principal. I was back to about 110. We moved to Des Moines and of course wanted to try out all of the great new restaurants. I let myself, but there was a little voice in my heading telling me to "be careful" because I didn't want to end up where I was before. Because let's face it - dieting is NOT fun. The fact that I was now able to not really diet and eat out every once in awhile was AWESOME, but my biggest FEAR was that I would have to start dieting again. So I started wanting to lose a little more weight to have a "cushion." I started not eating much at work and saving all of my calories for dinner and nighttime snacking. I was getting nutrition and calories but NOT from healthy foods or in a healthy manner - I was literally eating about 500 calories during the day and then 1,000 calories from 5pm - 9pm. I have struggled with this ever since. Probably for the past year if I'm being honest with myself. I've tried various things but I've come to the realization that I am addicted to carbs and sugar. For dinner I crave five bowls of Fruit Loops instead of salmon or a "normal" dinner. I have gone through phases of making myself eat a "normal" dinner but still will eat a small dinner - like 200 - 300 calories so I still have calories left for my five bowls of Fruit Loops.
Food is controlling my life. I am gaining my happiness from food. I am also gaining unhappiness from food when I try to go a week without cereal or my other lovely carbohydrates.
Well. I'm finally going to CONQUER MY FEARS AND COMMIT TO CHANGE! My fear of gaining weight and having to diet again is NOT going to happen - if I am eating healthfully and mindfully, I won't gain weight and I could still stand to gain a few more pounds anyway. I will NEVER have to diet again - I really don't even believe in the word "diet" anymore. I just want to live a healthy LIFESTYLE.
I am going to COMMIT TO CHANGE - It's going to be rough. I'm going to be a bitch (sorry in advance) and I'm going to probably want to give up. But since I'm publishing this post to the world, it feels real to me now. More then when I've just been telling myself in my head that I should change.
So the past couple of weeks I have been doing my research of the various diets (oops I mean "lifestyles) that are out there - Paleo, Mediterranean, Atkins, 17 Day, etc. All of them have their pro's and con's. What I have tried to do is take the best out of all of them for my own personal plan. Here are the basics:
-Eat all of the vegetables I want. You really can't go wrong with veggies. -Eat fruit, but not a ton. I'm thinking 3-4 servings per day max. -Eat lots of lean protein -Eat fat-free dairy - Greek Yogurt, Cottage Cheese, etc. -Limit carbs. Get carbs from things like quinoa, beans, other legumes. -I know I have to let myself have SOME of my "trigger" foods. So, I'm going to let myself get TWO packages from the grocery store each week and limit servings to 2 per day. -Don't eat unless you're hungry, but eat when you're hungry. Often times at work, I am REALLY hungry but didn't bring myself enough food to satisfy my hunger so when I get home from work, I will eat WELL past being full just because I do NEED the calories. Stopping both. -Try to limit sodium intake. This will be tough, too and probably not as important for me, but am still going to monitor. -Targeting about 1,700 - 1,800 calories per
Ready. Set. GO!!!!!!!!
Comments
Brandy
03/14/2012 12:40pm
That sounds awesome girl! Don't forget about the water. Also, I would love to know how you feel about things like caffeine and sugar substitutes, and what your exercise plan is. :)
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About Me
Hi! I am a young professional in Des Moines, IA still learning how to survive in the "real world." Luckily, I have an awesome dog, Roadie, to keep me grounded. I enjoy red wine, fine dining, Atlanta Braves baseball, running, cooking, and reading - not necessarily in that order!
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